Get to Know M+E: Ebony's Story

by Evelyn Montgomery Nov 10, 20201 comment

M+E Pioneer Stories

Hello - it’s me again.

Over the last few months I have been so touched by the stories people share in their reviews of 360ME.

It started me thinking about the incredible power of telling our story. It’s therapeutic and connecting.

It can also truly help the listeners understand themselves. It can give them insight and ideas. It can help them feel normal - it’s reassuring when other people have feelings just like ours.

So I asked some of the M+E community if they would share a little more of their narrative and happily they said yes.

Here’s the next in a series of M+E Pioneer Stories from Ebony. It’s a story many of us will recognise as we struggle to find our place in the world. 

Ebony is an incredible young woman and I’m so pleased that M+E is now part of her journey towards living a creative and supportive life. She started off as a customer, became an ambassador and is now the newest member of our team. 

Here’s her story:

Ebony's Story 

What has been your mental wellbeing story?

Sometimes I’ve felt as though I’m going full speed ahead with no control or chance of pausing to enjoy the simple things. Other times, it’s as though at every corner I’m graced with a staggering surprise or an altering decision to make. For some people, school prepared them for the world and asserted their decisions in which direction they wanted to go - it did not do that for me. It daunted me with too many directions and not enough of me to explore them all.

With time, and fear of the lack of it, in my mind, I’ve always wanted to think of the future and make every move an investment. But with the inability to concentrate on one task paired with family issues, unsolvable chronic health problems and just teen to young adult anxieties, I often found myself stuck when deciding the path I wanted to take. Despite others reassuring me that I’ve got ‘plenty of time’, fear of failure put me into a depressed state, halted my creativity and encouraged aimless, mainly intoxicated, ‘fun’.

Instead of living for myself I found comfort in helping people with their lives, being their go to, and doing so felt great! Until it all started weighing on me. The realisation of having spent so much energy yet being in the exact place you were whilst everyone else is now dozens of steps ahead… It was daunting to me, depressing. It’s a whole cycle, because I was back where I started. I realised it all came down to motivation and self-discipline. Disciplining myself into believing in, wanting to look after and invest in, me.

With that in mind, between taking Happy Me and Calm Me supplements alongside some conditioning and some research into well-being, I am now where I am. Which is encouraging myself daily to grow in areas I want to, with a positive and motivated mindset to do so. I still don’t know where I want to end up but that’s okay. So I’m starting there, and here at Montgomery + Evelyn. A brand I can wholeheartedly stand by, which I was doing before I even started working with them, as it’s helped me so much. Along with support from people around me, I finally feel like I’m growing WITH people. For now, this is my mental wellbeing story.

If you are struggling, what are your 5 favourite mental wellbeing tools? 

Micro-chillers - what are the small things that help you feel calm and recharged?

1. I find Sudokus really calming and soul soothing. I think it’s because of the concentration, the ability to make silly mistakes means I have to put all of my attention into it. There’s many ways to go about it too, so I can get creative.
2. A classic; reading a book. A mystery book like The Girl on the Train, with the company of a scented candle, of course.
3. Yoga. Proves both calming and energising, depending on the routine and flow I choose. Vinyasa Flow is a nice and chill transitioning routine, I find.
4. Painting my nails and doing a DIY hair mask (usually coconut milk and a banana/avocado with some argan oil with a mix of lavender and rosemary essential oil, in case you were wondering). Such a simple act that empowers me, making me feel like a woman that can save the world whilst living leisurely.
5. Watching a Studio Ghibli film with my boyfriend, or alone honestly because his films are so lovely and comforting that it’s hard to wait for someone to watch them. If you haven’t watched them, start with Spirited Away. Side-note: You may cry, and that’s totally okay.

Micro-boosters - what are the small things that give you a lift and fuel your energy?

1. A book about a journey, like A Beekeeper in Aleppo. Even during devastation and what the main character goes through personally, he’s able to support those around him and complete his unbelievable journey. That sort of unwavering perseverance, in such a trying scenario, fills me with an animated energy.
2. Putting on a playlist that I know all the words to, and doing something that I’ve been putting off whilst doing so. Aka, the laundry.
3. Happy Me. If my playlist didn’t get me doing the laundry, these certainly will. I feel like I could do all the chores after taking my Happy Me vitamins, and still have motivation to do paperwork or work on a hobby. 
4. Making a meal or baking something, like banana bread. My favourite uplifting breakfast at the moment is turkish scrambled eggs on buttered fruit bread.
5. Black coffee. Speaks for itself!

Thanks a Million - what are the things in life that you are most grateful for?

1. First, my family. I mentioned before how I don’t know what career I wanted to go into, still don’t. But as I was going through options; Fashion designer, mechanic, famous chef, etc. I would receive constant support from my family, every Christmas I’d have something relative to what I was dreaming of at that time. No matter how many times I changed my mind, this was always the case. And it still is. I struggle to keep up with where my heart drags me, but it doesn't phase my family and they never make me feel bad about my inability to stick to one path. I honestly don’t know where my mentality would be today without them, and who they are.
2. Fortune. Meaning a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on, as well as the freedom to walk the streets being myself. I try to never take that for granted. In that regard, I’m richer than most.
3. Furry friends. A life without doggos is a life I’m not sure I’d like. Honestly, all animals. They just make me so happy and are another league of connection, without understanding each other's language you can still grow an intangible relationship.

How to fail - what are the 3 most important lessons you have learned when things have gone wrong?

1. Communication. I’ve found so many dilemmas that could’ve been prevented if I had just spoken up about something. Or given more detail, less can be more but more can also be more.
2. I need to slow down - silly mistakes like knocking things, dropping things, ignoring things.
3. Don’t take everything personally. Things go wrong for everyone, it’s a way to learn and to teach.

Pass it on - what life wisdom would you tell your younger self?

Stop stressing about the future so much. You have time and everything you do counts, nothing is wasted. What you spend time doing now will either teach you what you like and might want to do, or what you don’t like and don’t want to do. Both lessons are valuable. Whatever you do - enjoy yourself, back yourself and be yourself. 

Thank you for sharing. 

Oh Ebony - thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story of how you have learned to take care of yourself and find your direction in life.

I love what you say about being ok with still not knowing where you want to end up and being patient. I’m a huge believer in taking small daily actions, putting things out there and then letting them go. You will end up where you are meant to be.

Take care,

Evelyn